Time it goes buy so fast I forget how long I have been on this site. I just can't believe it been three years. So much has changed in my life since I first write my first poem on this site did my first journal entry. Those times were so dark I had no idea but in some ways the darkest was all I knew. Now three years later there is just so much light in my life I don't know what to do with it. I know the old me would have buried my head under the sand just to hide from the light. It taken me  a while to realize there is light every where one just has to look for the light is all. But most of us really don't look for light all we see is the darkest. We see what is wrong with the world what we are losing. We do not see what we have the only time we see what we have is when we lose it. I have to say that is just wrong.

   We are taught to see the dark only because it is easy to see the dark. The light on the other hand is hard to see harder to find but is still there. There is just so much out there to see that we just miss every day like the rising sun or setting. School is just finishing up for this quarter. I feel the march of the clock time is running out to finish my final papers ans assignment. I only two to three quarters away from my bs. I can't believe how well I have done. But then again I putting my good foot forward. Focusing on my school and doing the best I can do and it showing. I just hope to make valedictorian again but we shall if my dropping two course affects me making that I hope it doesn't but I have no idea.

   I have this great idea for my school I want to start a community service program but I know I can't do it alone I just need to gather enough people to shot it off the ground. I want to make a different and have my dream come true. I 've got my fingers cross on my dream job I know the path it just a matter of grades and the right school and then I will have it I hope. Either way there is only one focus and goal I have no idea what I will do if I don't make but true is I have not thought what if. if you ask me I will make it which I know is the secret to any one goal that a person makes in one life. So I have shoot for the stars and only time will tell if I make it and become a stars.

  As for every thing else it all going well. At work I been able to get some extra hours one other employee is out on medical leave. It sad but good for me for the moment. Now only if I could get my feet wet and get a chance at a job in the field that would be great. I looking I just have to put my info out there. Which I need to start doing that again. I been lazy since the employee went on medical leave. I have been working on making friends instead of thinking about the past. it been hard but real good for me. But my bf thinks I lying thinks they don't exist. he wants to met them. True is he has his night I have my night I want to keep it that way.

  Even if he would like them or wants me to include him in his life. The thing is there places I can go but he can till that changes I may not want him to met my friends. it fair so I want him to live things that way they are and not change them. I want to have some things separate even if he does get why I keep those thing separate it just how I am at times. Pa having so tax problems as my mom did he had no idea mom had so. I swear parents they are odd creatures you love them hate can't live with them with out them it weird but hey that life. I think that is all for now.